Self Image

In February, I spent three days as a stand-in caretaker for a surf club in Sydney, Australia. Each day I woke to the thunder of tumbling waves. By 7 a.m. I had completed morning duties and, with a bowl of Special K in hand and my feet on the coffee table, snuggled into the dusty, vintage couch. Only a one-way mirror separated me from golden sand and waves that indiscriminately toppled wet-suit clad bodies onto Narrabeen Beach—one of the world’s most famous surf shores.

At first surprisingly, and then much to my amusement, surfers of all shapes and ages often caught their reflection in my window. Teenage girls would adjust their swimsuit tops; middle-aged men inflated their chests and gave a flex. Some, men and women alike, diverted from their otherwise b-line route to the sandy sun-soaking extravaganza in order to tame a few shifty pieces of hair. Others, in conversation with unsuspecting friends, merely watched themselves as they casually passed.

No one noticed me, inches away, enjoying an exclusive, Aussie reality show!

It was a child who nearly blew my cover. A young girl of maybe six. She pressed her little face to the mirror, leaving nose and finger smudges. She saw in. She saw the coffee table and potted plants. Had she looked for longer than a second, she would have seen me—watching her.

Early in my journey following Christ, my Pastor said that God will use anyone and anything to teach me about Himself. This has proven true.

As I observed the parade of people, I considered how often I approach a situation-- be it entering a new context or attempting to solve a problem. Do I only see myself in the equation? Oh, I may get close enough to take a good look, but I’m looking only at me. And so I see me, a sliver of the whole.

I remembered David. Approaching Goliath, David didn’t dwell on his scraggly self. I remembered Caleb, urging his people to boldly storm the promised land, focused not on the ability or track-record of the Israelites but rather the faithfulness and promise of God. And Peter, passionate Peter, who declared that his love and his devotion would never fail Jesus. Failed. Later, on the shores of Galilee, after a long look in the mirror, Peter again proclaims his love and devotion—focused this time on Christ.

The curious girl at Narrabeen Beach looked beyond herself and saw what no one else did. She caught a glimpse of the world behind her image. As I slurped my soggy cereal, I was thankful for little finger prints and nose smudges on my window to teach me. We will never see the Kingdom of God unless we come as a little children.